Put your music player of choice on shuffle and list the first song
OK, don't judge me. My iPod has different genres of music for different purposes. I just downloaded a ton of Metallica songs, so of course the song that came up was "Chemo Limo" by Regina Spektor. I'm not ashamed of my Regina Spektor collection. I just wasn't expecting it.
If you could spend a week anywhere in the world, where would it be and why? Would you take anyone with you?
I’d spend a week in the Bahamas lying on the beach enjoying sun and sand. I'd take Brooklyn Decker with me. And she'd be naked the entire time.
|Brooklyn Decker in the Bahamas without me|
My computer keyboard is my preferred writing implement, but if I have to use a pen or a pencil I usually use a blue pen. At work I use a mechanical pencil. I like the mechanical pencil because when I'm really super frustrated I can throw it like a knife and it'll stick into the wall.
I have no idea. I suppose my first trip without parents was to Florida maybe. My first trip totally alone would be have been ... possibly to Memphis. I should never have taken that trip.
I don't know how much I should tell here. I'll say just this much, I know the bass guitar player from the band Brother Cane, Dave Anderson. He was my guitar teacher in high school and an all around cool guy. I know the lead guitar player from Lord Tracy, Jimmy Rusidoff. Jimmy is a really nice guy and a hell of a great guitar player. Their drummer, Chris Craig, is my neighbor, but I don't really know him. I know Jim Keeling, the drummer with Atlanta Rhythm Section. We did a play together once long ago that I had a big hand in writing, so you know it was twisted. I don't want to say much else because I don't know who minds being associated with this blog and who doesn't. I'd tell you all about how I finally met Jessica Biel and had wild sweaty sex with her in a taxi, but I may have only dreamed that.
|"Oh Memphis Steve, you make me so hot!"|
Sarcastic, snarky, and occasionally alcohol-twisted.
If I can find a sucker, er, willing competitor I like to play chess. I may cheat a little, but as long as you don't catch me at it I never lose. Speaking of cheating at games, I love to play card games, like Spades or Hearts or Uno or Poker and anything that gives me a good excuse to stay up all night with a bunch of friends and waste the night away when we're supposed to be studying for midterms.
Um, there's a lot, but I'll just list one because it's really late and I don't have time to go into details. I like Mike Roberts' band 5'ive O'Clock Charlie. Mike is a great guy and his band is kick-ass awesome.
Deep Purple. Or does it have to be a single artist, as in one person? Ritchie Blackmore is a pretty amazing guitarist, which is half the reason I love Deep Purple so much. Not surprisingly, I also like Rainbow a lot. If you know who Ritchie Blackmore is then you understand.
It's a picture of me and Jessica Biel in the car about to have sex. I think it's me anyway. It looks a little like Justin Timberlake, but people often say we look just alike so ...
|Jessica Biel and me (allegedly)|
Last person you talked to, and through what you talked to them
I talked to my mom. We used Dixie cups tied together with a string. I had to dial 9.
You know Memphis is a tough, tough town. If you have to carry cash and you want to keep it from getting stolen by the guy holding a gun to your face you have to make a few sacrifices. I don't tell a lot of people this, but I'll tell you. I keep my cash in my butt. Even when I pull it out and offer to give it to the gang banger with the gun in my face, often he doesn't take it and I get away without losing a dime.
There's the wicked witch's sand timer telling me when she's coming for the ruby slippers, the clock radio on the bedside table, the TV telling me its' 11:42 pm and 21 degrees outside, my cell phone which is plugged into my computer to recharge because the chargers keep burning out, the computer itself, the microwave, a wristwatch tattoo that I have on my wrist perpetually set to 4:20, and the cell phone belonging to the prostitute lying dead in the floor next to my bed, which all takes us back to the Kel Tech shotgun. Speaking of that, does anyone know how to get blood stains out of carpet? I mean, like a really, really BIG blood stain.
|I don't even know where she was keeping that cellphone|
I use the old Bell South phone with the cord and pushbuttons and you put the receiver up to your head and when you're mad at the person on the other end you can actually slam the phone down on them. You can also use it to hit a pimp over the head with the phone when he comes to find out what happened to his hooker, which is why they call it a 'head phone' because it will flat knock a brutha out.
You don't have that much time for me to list them all.
I clear my browser history whenever my computer has slowed to a crawl and simply killing apps isn't enough to get it back up to speed again. Plus, whenever I've been looking at particularly twisted porn of the sort that burns horrible images into my brain and I want to make sure I don't ever feel the slightest urge to go back and look at that shit again.
I once got paid to work as an artist for an advertising/marketing firm that was in need of a lot of posters for some event. That was a blast until I tried to impress a hot girl I was working with by throwing a flying side kick through a doorway with a lower than expected upper doorframe. I got a lovely concussion and left a dent in the wood from my skull.
Oh, so many to choose from. I once worked for a company called Swisher. All I did all day was drive around to clients' businesses and clean their bathrooms.
Hot Rod, Car Craft, Super Chevy, Guitar Player, Guitar Techniques, Writer's Digest, Playboy (no big surprise there), Popular Mechanics, Reason, and many, many more!
Oh wow, am I done? Is that it? Well okay then.