And yes, my Dodge has it, too. And yes, I knew that when I wrote this. Just because my Challenger has a testosterone-inducing rumble under the hood and makes the kind of horsepower that my father's Oldsmobile made back in the late '60s and early '70s doesn't mean that I don't still think the original 1970 Dodge Challenger was and still is a better looking car than my brand new ridiculously expensive one with the ugly blue and white striped seats.
I remember the first time I bought a car for my significant other and it only had a key hole on the driver's door, so that even if I had a key with me I couldn't get in on the passenger side unless I used the remote control. And I cursed the car company and shouted "cheap assed bastards!" But now they've gone even further and removed the key hole for the ignition, creating a very real problem every time the damn battery in the remote dies, which it does more and more often as you have to use it for more and more things that you used to do with a metal key. Who asked for this? Why did they do this?
|E15 gasohol - A gift from the EPA|
Isn't it possible that the American government and all its cronies are conspiring among themselves to grab as much power and control as they possibly can, but due to their total ignorance and arrogance (absolute stupidity), along the way they are just wrecking everything in America? Isn't it possible that unusually stupid people have congregated all together like a religious cult inside the city limits of Washington DC and obtained the highest positions of power there while the rest of us were working at normal jobs and not paying attention, sort of like happened with the television networks and their news departments?
If we don't, the next time the federal government mandates changes to all the new cars we are going to end up driving giant metal boxes with no windows at all, no beautiful curves or shiny chrome, no appeal of any kind, and headlights that are so bright they set the garage on fire every time we start our cars to leave for work in the morning. Oh, and let's not forget the Government Motors Chevy Volt that spontaneously catches fire at random times. No, let us not forget that. Fire bombs shaped like ugly boxes that we can't see out of, that's what the idiots in Washington are plotting to force upon us.
Not that we'll know how ugly they are because we won't have any light bulbs and we'll all be blind from the fucking blinding high intensity car headlights that seared our retinas and fried our optic nerves.
Fuck the Government!