Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Tuesday's Turds

Change

So I was just visiting a blog from long ago when I decided to leave a comment. And then I thought better of it. And then I realized that I used to think of this person as a friend and later, as someone who was not interested in being a friend at all to me. And so I sat there wondering if I should comment or if perhaps they would not care for me to. And then I realized that I waste time on a lot of people who don't make me feel especially welcome. And I began to wonder why I do that? Why do I spend one minute of my time on people who don't seem to care if I stop by and aren't even nice enough to be my friend on Facebook or Twitter or some other website that barely involves any real contact at all? Why don't I just write these people off and drop them from my world altogether? I don't know, but a change is coming. I can feel it boiling up inside of me.




Police

I just saw an ad for yet another new cop show on TV featuring pretty people playing cops who go around beating the living crap out of anyone and everyone who gets in their way. It's called "Chicagoland" or "ChicagoCode" or something. Basically, according to the world of TV, there are the cops and then there are the 'bad guys' and that means anyone who isn't a cop, reporter, prosecutor, or woman. So if you're some guy standing on the sidewalk working a hotdog stand and the TV cops come along, expect to get the shit kicked out of you because you're a 'bad guy' and therefore not a human being. I get the impression that the writers of these shows have never been roughed up by real cops or had anyone they care about beaten and tortured and sent to the hospital by overzealous and unaccountable real cops because if they had they might hold a slightly different view of a world filled with bad cops*. And that's what most of these TV cops are, bad cops. We don't need more of this.

I remember a brief period when I was a kid, the baby boomers had gained so much experience dealing with bad cops that, once they began to come into power, they altered laws governing how police treat private citizens to such a degree that many people felt the cops had their hands tied behind their backs because suddenly they had to respect a few basic human rights among the citizens. On television many shows wouldn't even allow their TV cops to carry guns (CHiPs) or really rough anyone up to any great extent. It was the age of Charlie's Angels and love taps that took a man down without any real harm or indecent assaults to the genitals. That didn't last long, though, and today we live in a world where it seems like things have gone too far the other way. Way too far.




Football

We're in the heat of the NFL playoffs leading up to the Superbowl, the biggest game of the year, and I'm already sick of watching football. Despite this football fatigue, the NFL corporate bigwigs are pushing to add 2 more weeks of games, which the players themselves don't want. And whose grand idea was it to move the Pro Bowl to the week BEFORE the Superbowl? Clearly anyone playing in the Superbowl can't play in that game, so that removes many top players from that game. Sometimes I think every corporate and political leader in America is high on crack.




Politics

For the past few years there has been a long overdue revolt among conservative voters against their own Republican Party. It couldn't be more obvious that the leaders of the Republican Party are totally out of touch with and often opposed to the views of their voter base. Following 2 devastating defeats in a row in national elections where conservative voters sent a crystal clear message to their party that they were not willing to accept the treacherous douchebags being offered to them in place of actual leaders, the voters grew fed up and formed the Tea Party, a movement more than an actual political party, which assembles disgruntled voters and mobilzes them to action. They kicked out many "party men" in congressional elections, booting the Republican leadership approved douches and replacing them with a third-party candidate from out of nowhere, often winning the overall election due to the fact that their candidate more accurately reflected the views of the voters than either the 'chosen' Republican candidate or the Democrat. Despite all this, the Republican Party leadership remains primarly a Log Cabin affair, with the same good old boys and girls being chosen for the more important positions, such as Speaker of the House and especially the Republican Party leader himself, previously held by a guy almost no one had ever heard of and then replaced with another guy no one has ever heard of. Meanwhile, their Speaker of the House, Mr Crybaby Boehner, continues to very cynically and shamelessly play his "I feel your pain" female-appeasement card by dressing himself in pink and crying like a blue-eyed infant every time the cameras are rolling, just to show how terribly sensitive and caring he is. Clearly this man has higher aspirations. He obviously believes that the key to achieving greater positions of power for himself is to sucker emotion-focused female voters into thinking he is a delicate flower who could substitute for Oprah if she should ever go on vacation. To the rest of us he is a good indication that the cleanup of that particular political party isn't nearly done yet. Perhaps the Republican Party leaders and the few males still left in the Democratic Party could get together and form a new party, the Metrosexual Party, with their official party color of pink, and devote as much time and energy as they please to tearful appeals to Oprah fans while the rest of us focus on the actual issues.




Exercise

I don't know what to make of this, but four days after my last pump class workout I am still walking like a testicular cancer patient because my legs are so sore. I had complained repeatedly here and elsewhere about my trainer not really doing what I hired him to do. This intense pain combined with my lousy performance in pump class seems to support my view. Its ridiculous the shape I'm in after working out so much over the years. If I can survive this class I think it will help me a lot.




The Blog World

Blogs come and blogs go and why I'm still here I do not know. I've noticed that truly spectacular blogs often inspire new blogs written by their real-life friends, but those supplementary blogs seem to flame on and then burn out much more quickly than the original that inspired them. And then there are the supernovas, the blogs that burst onto the scene, dazzle us all with their newness and unique perspectives, and then just as quickly shut down. There are so many great blogs that have come onto the scene and inspired us over the years, only to eventually retire and walk away, leaving a hole in our blogrolling hearts in need of filling. After almost 7 years of this I have begun to feel that some blogs simply cannot be replaced. Those blogs tend to be written by people who are remarkably unique and likeable. And then there are the other blogs, like mine, written by dysfunctional people who seem to inspire as many haters as fans, if not more, and yet continue to creep along for reasons that make sense only to the blogger themself.

A fellow blogger had suggested to me that the name of my blog, Nude Memphis, actually drives a lot of potential readers away as it creates the impression of being a porno blog. I don't know if this is true or not, but I'm betting most of you aren't still reading at this point and thus won't see or respond to this question, but I'd like to know what you think about that? Should I drop "Nude" from the title of my blog?




And speaking of nude, what the fuck is this shit?

EL GUINCHO Bombay from MGdM Marc Gómez del Moral on Vimeo.




* Bad Cops - I just want to make clear that I do recognize the existence of both good cops and bad cops. We need good cops and good laws. Unfortunately, recent developments in our laws have done nothing to encourage more good cops, but plenty to create a lot more bad cops. Our lawmakers have been totally absent on issues in need of authentic leadership and decent legislation dealing with many very real problems. Even many veteran cops have voiced concerns about a lot of things going on today and Lord knows the medical community has.

23 comments:

Ute said...

He he he...."Tuesday Turds".. ;o)


Um. Don't be goin' and changing your blog name. Why? Those who give a flying fuck, and are offended by it, don't matter anyway. Stop trying to please the masses! You'll never succeed...

Be a different kettle of fish if it was something like, "Steve's Cunting Memphis Blog".

Senorita said...

I didn't know you've been blogging for seven years. Me too !

When I saw your blog title, I didn't think of porno at all, I thought comedy.

Good for you in deciding to only pay attention to people who want your attention and friendship.

Bambam said...

First of all, fuck those that won't give you the time of day. You don't need them. Just fuck them off.

Secondly, that video is the weirdest thing I've seen in a while, and luckily there was some tit in it or I would be seriously worried about the strange dreams I'll have after watching it. What's with the chick licking the stick? HAHA!

If you give a fuck, I enjoy reading your shit!

Kris said...

I saw Nude in your blog name and I had to click. I'm weird like that.

AlleyCat said...

I use the word nude all the time & never in reference to porn. Nude chocolate is just chocolate with out all the extra crap in it. Nude Memphis is just fine by me.

PS stick with the pump classes. once you recover from that first burn you'll be fine. I know. I was crippled for a week!!!!

xl said...

I don't care what you call it. I'll still drop by and harass you anyway.

Cap'n John said...

I say keep the Nude in the title. Like AlleyCat I figured it meant we were getting a straight up version of Memphis, with no sugar coating to protect those easily offended.

CB said...

I told you what people would say in reference to changing the title!!!!

Blah blah blah... I'm a dirty tramp.

Catch Her in the Wry said...

I agree with Cap'n John. Plus using nude in your title does attract new visitorss to the blog who may eventually become readers and friends.

Congratulations on 7 years! I'm 3 years behind you, but still hangin' in there.

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Your blog IS a supernova, MS. never lackluster post. I always relate and and usually laugh.

Great point on abusive police. I agree. Wind up on the other side of that shit and you'll change your tune quickly!

Hang in there with the exercise!

Sweet Cheeks said...

Firstly, I love your blog - because you are the only you like you out there. I've never visited your site and thought - well he's like every other idiot posting on the net.

Secondly, I always took the 'Nude' to mean you were representing a Memphis that is real and to the core, not made up like 'look how great my state is', and more along the lines of 'people that live here are assholes - just look at my neighbors'.

Thirdly, maybe you were a bit dehydrated after working out? Low on your trace minerals? Fighting off the flu? Take good care of yourself, friend. You DO matter.

Red Shoes said...

"...I am still walking like a testicular cancer patient because my legs are so sore."

I am not sure why I found this funny. I had to explain to people standing outside my office that I was not having a breakdown.

You are insane, but then again, the South does this shit to us...

Love...

~Mississippi Shoes~

Chapter Two said...

ok umm the video is odd to say the least. lost track of what you were saying after the football pic- the girls... hmm what? yeah- so

AlleyCat said...

Happy Australia day mate - I nominate you temporary citizenship today :0)

Wow, that was awkward said...

I never thought porno blog, but I saw a lot of your comments on other people's blogs and always thought you are a witty guy and that I should check your blog out someday. It just took me forever to finally do it.

unique_stephen said...

The world needs more nudity

Memphis Steve said...

Ute, no one said they were offended, but they did suggest that maybe I was misleading people and thus they might avoid me. I was just curious if others felt that way, too. And when it was said to me, "Steve's Memphis Cunt Blog" was the alternate title I jokingly offered up. I'm not kidding.

Senorita, I'm relieved that you immediately thought comedy when you saw my blog title. If I really wanted to get laughs I'd return to posting naked photos of myself for HNT, but then I'd probably lose readers.

BamBam, see, if that video didn't have some tit in it then it would just be the biggest collection of stupid crap ever, but with the tits it is artistic. Art galleries should just pay hot young women to stand around naked.

Kris, that is the response I had hoped for from the start. Well, that and random Google hits that weren't actually intended for me and the crap I post.

AlleyC, the weird thing about the pump class is that last week it left me unable to walk for 5 days, but Monday I did it while sick, unbeknownst to me, and wasn't sore at all. Maybe being sick somehow kept the sore at bay? Or maybe being sick caused me to half-ass the workout so much that it didn't do much good. Hmm, I hadn't thought of that until now.

XL, I am more grateful for that than I know how to express. Thank you for that.

Cap'nJ, oh, I definitely give a straight up view of Memphis. I like the interpretation you had for it. That's dead-on.

CB, what's wrong with being a dirty tramp? Don't you ever change, DT!

CatchHer, I originally included "Nude" in the title solely to lure in naughty Googlers searching for porn, never dreaming that one day people would actually read me solely for me and not care that they couldn't find very many nude photos of Bridget Moynahan on my blog ('Bridget Moynahan nude' is still the number one search leading to my blog for several years in a row.)

Lightning, I greatly appreciate what you said about my blog. Yours is always top-notch. I don't know how you come up with that stuff on a regular basis like you do. I used to have a friend who was a great cop. He told me that bad cops make it that much harder and more dangerous for good cops to do their jobs because of the damage they do. These days I'm afraid half the problem is at new weapons companies like Taser International, and a good bit more is simply our do-nothing lawmakers who won't step up to the plate and deal with these issues. The fact that you can shoot a man in the balls with a gun, spear his balls on a straightened fishhook attached to a steel cable, and electrocute his entire genitalia for as long as you hold the trigger and no one is really sure what crime this is should tell lawmakers that we have a huge gap in our laws. Its torture, plain and simple. But the law says its nothing, and sure as hell not a sexual crime because the victim in this example is male. It is long past time that the laws were updated to reflect the fact that genital violence is always sexual violence for the victim, for the assailant, and for everyone who witnesses it. That's why there are videos of it all over the internet and TV.

Memphis Steve said...

SweetC, I have indeed tried to present a fairly accurate and real view of life in Memphis. It is rough here, make no mistake. I have been super sick following my pump class, and not because the class was so rough. I caught something this past weekend and it really hit full-on starting Monday night. Tuesday was hell and I was mostly unconcious the entire day. I am only just now crawling out of my bed.

RedS, I couldn't think of a more tasteful way to express how a guy has to walk after being badly injured in the testicles. I hate making light of testicular cancer, but it was the quickest way to express my point that I could think of.

Chapter2, I saw this video and I was like WTF? But I knew I had to post it. It is just too funky to let go by without showing it to everyone. It's like one of those poops where you say "hey guys, come look at this! My turd looks just like Godzilla!"

AlleyC, Happy Australia Day to you, too! I wish I really could get citizenship as easily as that. I am going to have to sell something and fly over there. I have wasted enough time. I need to come see Australia.

Awkward, I'm relieved - I thought you were gonna say that you saw my comments on other people's blogs and thought I was pornographic.

Unique, the world needs more nude attractive people, I agree. But this Queen Latifah thing, this has to stop. If they ever start pumping out naked photos of her on the internet I'm going to burn my computer.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

steve: um...lucky I brought a lunch. This is a long post.

Change is good. It's better than just turning your boxers inside out.

Here's one suggestion...like this post...cut it up into 7 parts and post one part every day.

don't thank me...I'm a problem solver. It's what I get paid for.

I'll send you my bill.

Ciao.

MauserMedic said...

I vote for "Steve's Casual Friday Commute Blog" :)

Memphis Steve said...

Spiky, I take forever to make a point. This is just how my brain works. I don't know why, but I seem unable to fix it. I need an editor.

Mauser, I am all for Casual Fridays, but this commuting is killing me. I need my own airplane or helicopter, like Obama has, and someone else to pay for my gas, also like Obama has.

Just telling it like it is said...

Wait just a minute...I look forward to your comments and reading your drunkin blogs so you better take my friendship for real...I mean it or else I am coming to your part of the world and track you down...not really that makes me sound like a stalker

Memphis Steve said...

TellIt, I don't mind stalkers so much. I try to be one myself with hot female celebrities (Jessica Biel), but I'm just so lazy and tired most of the time that most of them don't even know I'm there ... because I'm not. I'm home asleep.

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