Meme I Stole from Senorita

I stole this from Senorita, partly because she's hot, but also because it was new and different. And short.

1.) WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?
Orange jumpsuit, official electronic ankle bracelet, Hello Kitty flip-flops

2.) WHAT IS ONE THING THAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT YOU THE MOST?
Wow, you don't LOOK like an asshole.

3.) WHAT IS ONE THING YOU WILL NEVER HEAR SOMEONE SAY ABOUT YOU?
You are the sexiest, most desirable man any woman could ever wish for. I think I might even pay you for sex this time.

4.) WHAT PERFUME OR COLOGNE DO YOU WEAR ?
Man stink au naturale

5.) VANILLA OR CHOCOLATE ?
Brazilian with NO NUTS.

6.) PLAYBOY OR MAXIM?
Geez, Maxim is like Playboy light. The jokes are the same. The politics are the same. Even the girls are the same - eventually. Sure, she may start off in Maxim still partially clothed, but wait for her career to stall a little and BAM! She's the centerfold in Playboy. Yeah, baby!

7.) WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU SPOKE WITH ON THE PHONE?
God - he called to ask if I'd like to change my calling plan and maybe go with the salvation bundle that has unlimited prayer minutes.

8.) WHAT DO YOU HAVE FOR A RINGTONE?
A normal fucking ringtone, of course. In fact, it's more than just normal - its retro. The only ringtone I can hear when my phone is in my console and I've got the stereo cranked up while I'm flying down the highway is the old fashioned metal bell telephone ring. So that's what I go with. What? You want I should miss your call? Fine, I'll assign you some techno DJ bullshit that is barely audible and you can text me when you can't get me on the line.

9.) WHAT COUNTRY DO YOU WANT TO TRAVEL TO MOST ?
Auzzealand

10.) IF YOU ARE A MAN... ARE YOU A LEG MAN OR AN ASS MAN ?
It depends. Is she cumming or going? Legs matter when they're wrapped around your face. But after, when she's walking to the bathroom, the ass is important, too. Its like the punctuation at the end of the sentence, you know? Its like ... !!

11.) IF YOU ARE A WOMAN, WHAT IS THAT ONE THING ABOUT A GUY'S APPEARANCE THAT IS A DEALBREAKER ?
I'm not a woman, and you should all be glad, 'cause I'd be a really ugly woman.

12.) DO YOU BELIEVE IN GOING DUTCH ON A FIRST DATE ?
I'd do a Dutch girl, sure. They got some pretty hot chicks over there in Holland.

13.) WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR DATE FROM THE INTERNET SHOWED UP AND LOOKED 10 YEARS OLDER AND AT LEAST 30 LBS HEAVIER THAN IN THE PICTURE ?
That would depend on how old she looked in the picture - if she looked 12 then 10 years older would be a huge fucking relief - and if she had recently gotten certified as a personal trainer that extra 30 pounds might all be muscle, including those awesome thighs I was just talking about wrapped around my face. See, it's all in how you look at it.

14.) MEN.... WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOKE UP AND DISCOVERED YOU HAVE A WOMAN'S BODY ?
Learn to pole dance and make some serious money stripping
Hide it in the bushes out back
Wake her up and tell her its time for her to go home
Plow it like a field and then give it back to her.

15.) LADIES, WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOU WOKE UP AND DISCOVERED THAT YOU ARE TRAPPED IN A MAN'S BODY ?
Pray he farted and let me out!! Oh OK, so I ain't a lady. That answer just popped into my head and I had to do something with it. What can I tell ya?


Hey, I ain't tagging nobody to do this, but if you want to do it, post your answers in the comments, eh?