I Must Change

It's time for a change. I can no longer be Angry Steve. I can no longer speak out about the insanity of the religious zealots of the Dogmatic Left and their forceful shoving of their god, The State, down everyone's throats.

I can never again express criticism of the Misandric Female Supremacist Hate Movement, hereafter referred to on this blog as The U.S. Department of Justice Office of Violent Femmes.

I can never again make reference to the fact that, while our Social Elites here in the United States of Hyphen-America obsess over race, sex ... oops, I'm sorry, can't say sex ... gender, sexual orientation, and any religious view that isn't Christian, there is something odd about their insistence that someone like Barack Obama, who is as much white as he is black, can only be recognized for the black half of his heritage. The same is true with Halle Berry.

And Tiger Woods? He's one quarter black, but to hear the American Media tell it, he's the greatest Black Man in the history of golf.

Well, to be fair, I think he may be the only black man in the history of golf. I'm not sure of that, but in the interest of remaining PC I will simply ignore it and move along to something else far less interesting and yet even more shallow.

Speaking of Tiger Woods, I will never again make any reference to Tiger Woods without also pointing out that he has victimized his lovely and faithful wife, Elin, who in no way, shape, or form can be blamed or held accountable for having justifiably tried to murder him with his own very expensive golf clubs. Nor shall I use the term domestic violence when discussing lovely Elin's enraged assault upon her unfaithful black husband, Tiger, because as we all know, it is politically incorrect to state that somewhere between one third to one half of all domestic violence involves a lovely and totally justified female knocking the living shit out of a despised and lowly male, sometimes resulting in his totally acceptable or even celebrated death.

Furthermore, from this day forward, I shall make every reasonable effort to shrink my own personal Carbon Footprint down to zero. This will likely require my death, but this is a small price to pay in order to Save the Earth from the evil that is Man.

I shouldn't have said Man. What I meant to say was Humankind.

Actually, I've been told that because the word Human contains the word Man, it is no longer considered Politically Correct either. I probably should have said Personkind.

Well, except that Person contains the word Son, and Son is just another reference to the Patriarchal system by which every man is a potential rapist and oppressor of women.

OK, so the word I shall use to refer to all of us is People.

OK, after Googling the word People I see that Jesse Jackson has declared the word People to be racist because he insists that whenever White People say People, they aren't thinking of any Black People in their minds, and thus it is a racist word. He insists that the proper word is Peeps. So OK, from here on out, I shall refer to all of us as Peeps.

Hello My Peeps, from this day forward I shall never again say anything even remotely controversial, angry, political, religious, or in any way, shape or form interesting.

So help me God.