I’m behind at work and trying to get a house on the market while working on the new house. I'm swamped.
So, lets play the ‘I Wish Game’ originally brought to us by Kristine, stolen by Tammy, and stolen from Tammy by me.
Here’s how it goes: The person above you in the comment section makes a wish (”I wish I had a banana!”), and then the person below grants your wish, and then wishes something else, but here’s the fun part: Your wish is messed up!
Example: TheKeptWoman—-I wish I had a banana.
StacyPQ—-Granted, but the banana tastes bad. I wish I had a ticket to a concert.
Dixie—-Granted, but it’s a Barney concert. I wish….
Have fun, try not to be crude .... bwa ha ha ... OK, be as crude as you want, and I can't wait to read what everybody comes up with.
28 comments:
ok, this sounds like fun!
I wish I was having an affair with Brad Pitt!
Granted, but he has incurable halitosis. I wish I had his money.
Rick, your wish is granted, but with the Democrats gaining control of everything, the U.S. monetary system is going to collapse, money will be worthless and we're going back to a system of bartering.
OneHung wishes he was as smart as some people he used to work with thought they were.
Wish granted OneHung, but now you are a crippled up Stephen Hawking, rocking your wheelchair with a jacked-up voicebox.
I wish my ass was a wee bit smaller.
Tiggerlane, your wish is granted...but now your wee bit smaller ass is covered by long black hairs!
I wish I were so rich, I'd never have to work again!
STPQ, your wish is granted, but you got rich by suing the trucker that paralyzed you in that car wreck, and you couldn't work again if you wanted to.
I would wish that George Bush was no longer president, but thanks to Dick Cheney that's a self-perverting wish. So I'll just wish that the war in Iraq would end.
Granted, but now we go into Iran. Asses.
I wish it weren't so freakin' hot in Memphis, cause Mom and I will be there next week.
granted, but now it will rain the whole time ... and steve sings off-key show tunes when it rains.
i wish my undisclosed location did not have sunburn.
Granted, your undisclosed location is no longer sunburned but soft and beautifully tanned but your disclosed places are now covered with puss oozing pimples.
I wish I could drink beer all day at work.
Johnny Boy,
Your wish is granted! You may now drink beer all day at work but, the toilets in your office have been closed down by the health department. From now on you'll be expected to use the "Port-A-John" located on the north side of the parking lot.
I wish it would snow (in Mississippi) tomorrow.
OK, it's a snowstorm. It's a regular blizzard in August. Your pipes freeze and flood the house. Your car won't start because your battery is a block of ice. All your favorite plants are dead. There's a Zamboni driving down your street and the Canadians are invading, armed with Maple Leafs jerseys and hockey sticks.
I wish I had all of Bill Gates' money and Jessica Biel as my wife.
Granted but you also look like Bill and Jess sleeps with everyone BUT you.
I wish I we had a house of our own.
Wish granted, trouble is, it's a dollhouse, but you own every millimetre of it, including teeny tiny cupboards which actually open...too bad about the termite infestation...
I wish I was a dancer.
xxxxxxxx
Granted. You're a hot stripper dancer. Unfortunately, it's at the local senior citizen's center and the men are over 80 (and poor).
I wish I could live at the beach.
Granted, but it's hurricane season, and this year two hurricanes hit your house. What the wind didn't tear away, the storm surge flooded.
(Forgot to add my own wish.)
I wish that I had the money and the free time to take my family on vacation.
MattG, OK, you just found a million dollars. While celebrating your newfound wealth, the cops show up and arrest you. You get 20 years for a bank robbery you know nothing about.
I wish I could move to Australia and live in a nice house on the beach.
Granted. But you spend every day on the beach, surfing and living it up. And you get so burnt you look like a lobster, then your skin turns to leather, and you die of cancer.
I wish I could eat KFC without getting fat.
Granted, but it's because you have bulimia and have to enjoy the KFC on the way down and back on the way up about 3 minutes later.
I wish I didn't have to worry about doing enough push-ups to pass my PT test.
yeah but doing push ups while doing the nasty ain't a bad idea. I wish I was younger.
Poody, your wish is granted. Unfortunately you got a bit too young and are now 4 months old and can't ring anyone get your diaper changed.
It doesn't end well.
I wish I could win Miss Universe, oh and World Peace!
Granted. You get a sex change, win the Miss Universe title, and all the countries of the world live a peaceful coexistence. It's too bad that nude photos of you (as a man) surface, causing you to lose your crown. Your adoring fans break out in riot, Germany declares war on France, and the rest of the world starts taking sides in WWIII.
I wish for a romantic, loving boyfriend who worships the ground I walk on.
Granted, but he's gay. Great for shoe shopping though.
I wish I could have a threesome with Orlando Bloom and Johnny Depp.
(Steve this is awesome!)
Granted...but they show up dressed as pirates and in case you hadn't noticed, nobody ever bathes in those three movies so just guess what they smell like.
I wish I could just take off on a neverending motorcycle ride.
Granted, but you are never-ending in Antarctica.
I wish I could get some sleep.
Granted, you get some sleep ... Rip Van Winkle style. You wake up 100 years later to find that everyone you ever knew and loved has been gone for a long time. Besides that, you have a nasty case of bedbug rash.
I wish I didn't have allergies.
Granted, now you have a parade of little people following you around singing all the songs from the Wizard of Oz and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
I wish I could stop playing this game.
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