South Carolina Sheriff Rick Clark has declined the illegal presidential order. The sycophantic news media, of course, has gone apeshit and began demanding that Obama go arrest him and throw him in the dungeon, because that's what dictators do and the communist news media loves, loves, loves a communist dictator. That's why they love Mandela and that's why they love Obama. Most Americans who hear about this order and this sheriff have expressed their support of him. But the usual band of useful idiots have been pelting him with threats and abuse, demanding that he bow to their king and god and submit to his will. I like this because it coincides perfectly with my Red Riding Hood story, the version I already posted here on my blog. By the time I finish this book and publish it, Obama will have done every single thing I predicted and I'll look like a fucking genius.
So I'm watching Gas Monkey Garage over on Discovery Channel, and they're buying and selling old cars right and left. I know when I was in high school I wanted some of those classic muscle cars, but they were already unaffordable. I got lucky and stumbled across a deal on my Chevelle. I've had some Trans Ams. I've had a few cool cars, but nothing in primo condition or anything. The cars kept going up and up in price, I know. But today when I look at these shows or on the internet and try to buy just ANY old car, anything rear wheel drive and made of steel, its costs an OUTRAGEOUS amount of money. I'm trying to figure out what makes them so valuable and I can come up with a few possibilities, but nothing that justifies the $70k and $80k he's paying for some of these cars. The others are $20-30k without anything being done to them. And to be honest, several of the things they're doing to these classic cars I don't like. But it does give me some ideas for what might be making the old cars so valuable.
The new cars are a joke in so many ways. The bumpers on any new car or truck is a lie, plain and simple. It isn't a bumper. It's plastic covering a couple of egg cartons. Kick it hard enough and it'll fall off, firing an air bag into the face of the front seat passengers in the process.
The guys on this show bought a 1960 Chevy Impala for tens of thousands of dollars and then pulled the whole undercarriage out of it. They replaced the coils, shocks and differential with coilovers and an airbag suspension. Here's the thing, you can pay $70,000 for a top of the line Cadillac car today and it'll be fast and reliable and have a shitload of electronics in it, but it won't ride as well as any average American car from the 1960s or 1970s. Eventhe 1980s American cars rode better. Today if you want to buy a new vehicle and have it ride nice the smooth, not trasmitting every crevice in the pavement to your body, you have to buy a truck or SUV. And that's one of the reasons why everyone is buying them. Those coilover shocks and independent rear suspensions sound great in theory, but in reality they don't feel as nice as Americans are accustomed to. And they're cheap and light weight, which means hurray for gas mileage, but you're going to pay for it with your kidneys and back pain.
It's ironic, but the old bench seats were loads of springs and foam. They didn't hold the driver in place for sporty driving, but they were comfortable. And those old boat-like suspensions couldn't keep up with a Formula One car but they were nice as hell on a long trip and smooth as glass when driving over railroad tracks and speed bumps and potholes and a whole host of shit you are going to encounter on a daily basis while driving.
The old cars were made of steel, lots and lots of steel. And their primary reason for existing was to transport American families comfortably from point A to point B. The new cars, today's cars, are made of high carbon, thin steel, plastic, nylon, carbon fiber, sometimes kevlar, and more steel for the unibody and internal cage that replaced the frame. They're actually heavier now than every before in history, but not stronger. And not comfortable. Their primary purpose is to transport Americans individually from point A to point B while using as little gas as possible and without breaking down. But as for your comfort, the Federal Government neglected to place any emphasis on that while illegally taking over control of the automotive industry. The government doesn't care if you're comfortable. In fact, the EPA would prefer that you ride a government controlled bus. Or better still, just not go anywhere at all. But as for your comfort, that's not on their list of factors to consider at all.
|Bewitched - Sam drove a 1967 Camaro|
|Bewitched - Sam gets a new Camaro for 1968|
And we all know this. And we're not happy about it. And this is why I think we're paying over $100,000 for LS6 454 Chevelles and watching MadMen and Masters of Sex and countless other shows and movies about an era before we were born, back when it seemed that men were free and the government had to obey the law.
|I Dream of Jeannie - Major Nelson's 1965 GTO|
I don't know if I'm right. This is just what I think is going on right now.
|I Dream of Jeannie - Major Nelson's new 1966 GTO|
So, another ice storm of sorts is coming. And instead of my own home I'm in a motel. What do you do when the ice brings down the power lines and you're in total darkness without power or heat in a motel in a strange city with nowhere to go? I don't know, but I'm thinking about it as the night gets colder outside.
Oh, before I go I might as well mention Monday Night Football. I don't watch it because Mike Tirico is such a fucking douche that I can't stand it, but I did have part of the game on with the sound muted for awhile. Could Dallas get any worse? Their entire defense is on their injured list and now they're pulling guys from the stands to play defense because they're just out of people. You might think that this disaster would convince Jerry Jones, at long last, to stop interfering with his coaches. But no, that'll never happen. He'll just try to squeeze things tighter in an effort to increase his control. And the Cowboys will continue to lose until Mr. Jones dies. Blah!
|Jerry's driving from the back seat like Miss Daisy|